There is an ongoing struggle between the mirror and the cover of the magazine. It’s a well known struggle, and one that is frequently called out for being perverse and unrealistic. Yet, it goes on.
The magazine cover ideal that is sold to the masses is still a standard which most women, and men, feel they must live up to and struggle to understand why when they cannot. It feeds into the notion that there is a right way to be, and feeds off of the profit of all of the people buying products, getting surgeries, and starving themselves to stop being what they’re told is wrong.
It’s madness. But here we are, mad.
Mad at our skin for not being the same as it was when we were young. Mad at our bodies for changing after we’ve had children. Mad that we’re not seeing the results we were promised when we bought into the “fixes” we were sold.
And, the heartbreaking truth is that we’re mad at ourselves for not being good enough.
We know better than that.
The opposing team to the magazine villain is our personal cheerleading squads. These are the people in our lives, and in the world, who tell you that you are beautiful as you are. They can’t wait to compliment you, build you up, and remind you that you are, in fact, as you well know, good enough.
So why don’t we believe them?
Society has built a system designed to feed on insecurity. You can’t be self confident. That would make you vapid, full of yourself, vain. You must be humble, they tell you. Except, they don’t mean humble, as in humility. They mean humble, as in a door mat for them to walk all over. If you can’t feel confident in who you are, they can’t exploit your insecurity.
Which means they can’t make money off of it. And they can’t have that, now can they.
How do we break the cycle? Celebrate yourself.
In a society that profits from self-doubt, liking yourself is a radical act.
Take a moment to think deeply about yourself.
That skin that doesn’t quite bounce back the same as it used to? It’s wearing your story, it’s protecting you tirelessly. It is completely unique to you. Freckles. Vitiligo. Birthmarks. Stretch marks. Tattoos. Scars. You have an entire canvas that is completely individual. It’s as you as you’re ever going to get.
How about that belly? This may be the most controversial part of the human body. But think about yours. If you’ve had a baby, you know the marvel of lying in bed and watching your belly stretch to accommodate the movements of the little being inside of you.
Maybe you’ve never had kids. You can still celebrate your belly! Even if it’s not “magazine” perfect, it’s the very center of your being. Without it you wouldn’t survive. It holds all of you together. And it allows you to have all the best snacks.
If you really think about it, you are incredibly made. The veins that run blood through you, the organs that keep you alive, the heart that beats inside your chest, and the you. The you that is inside of all of that.
Each unique like, dislike, experience, adventure, memory.
You are incredible. You are real.
In a world that advertises the false, places the fake on a pedestal, and celebrates the mockery of the authentic, you are an incredible model of everything that is true.
Let the magazine be pristine. Let it sit on the shelf. Let it demand whatever it likes of you.
Let yourself be real. Give yourself the grace you have earned day in and day out. Embrace every curve, dip, bulge, tone, mar, and memory embedded onto your body.
There is no malady in you, only the victory of living each day relentlessly, powerfully, beautifully.
The victory is simply in being you.
Celebrate yourself!
