To the Woman no one calls “mom”...
I see you.
I see you smiling through Mother’s Day pretending it doesn't affect you.
I see you aching.
I see you struggling to keep it together.
I see you angry. I see you resentful.
I see you wondering “why?”
I see you with a hole in your heart.
I see you, your arms empty.
It is ok to cry.
It is ok to be angry.
It is ok to be resentful.
Here is my shoulder.
You are not alone.
You are more than your uterus.
With or without, you matter.
I know you are struggling today, I can see it in your eyes. I wish I could take all of it away for you but I can't. Nothing I say here will make you feel better so I wont bother trying. I will, however, give you permission to feel (because I know you are not giving yourself that permission). Feel the feelings that threaten to consume you, I think they just need to come out and play for a minute or two. Once you are done with that, it is time to practice some self-compassion. It is not your fault, it is not a reflection on your personhood or womanhood. I believe you to be an amazing woman with so much love to give and after all, as Franchesca Cox said “a mother is not defined by the number of children you can see, but by the love she holds in her heart.” I urge you to take a minute today and nurture Yourself: give her the hug she needs, the shoulder she needs, the ice cream she needs, whatever it takes to make her feel better. A little extra compassion and love never hurt anyone.