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Dear Girl with Shit List | Edmonton Boudoir

Note: You can send your Dear Katie question to katie@kmbphotography.ca or send me a message on Instagram or Facebook :)


Dear Katie,


I’ve been acquiring quite a shit list of people these days. Recently, I’ve built boundaries around myself and demanding people treat me with a level of human decency or get the fuck out.


Lots of people are on my shit list. People that I can’t cut out of my life but have not shown themselves to be worth keeping in my inner circle. Some of which are in my immediate family. I never expected to want to remove people from my family from my life, but I’m struggling because they are not respecting the boundaries I have set.


I’m not being vague either! I will explicitly state what I need from them only to be met with the opposite.


Anyway… Open to all tips.


TIA, Girl with Shit List.


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Hey Gw/ SL,


That is so annoying. I literally have the tiniest list of people that could pop over and it wouldn’t make me go insane. There is only one tip here. It's brutal, but it's the only thing you need: You need to keep restating, insisting, and clarifying your boundaries.


Listen, being "family" is not a good enough reason to keep people in your life that don't treat you well. I know that first hand. It isn't easy, there will be a ton of guilt but your self-respect and happiness is more important.


While you might not want to cut them out entirely, it is ok to have boundaries around certain people for your own mental health. I think of these like onion peels:


My inner layer is my husband.

My second layer is my best friends.

My third layer is my sisters.

and so on.


It’s exhausting, I know. You are going to feel unheard, I know. You’re gonna want to pull your hair out, I know. The key here is to remain consistent with them and yourself. Figure out what your boundaries are with these people and keep that in mind in your communication with them. Feel free to stop a conversation when it crosses the line. It is as simple as saying, "You know what, I am not interested in going down this path with you. Let's talk about xyz."


Keep it up! You got this.


You’re badass enough to start setting boundaries. You’re badass enough to ensure they stick.


Love,

Katie

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Katie Burnett Photography

katie@kmbphotography.ca