I don't give a fuck. Let me explain. I don’t mean I don’t care what people think, I do care what some people think. Like my husband, my son, my boss, my clients - the important people.
Society has indoctrinated us and we assume that people are judging us based on what is considered "the rules." But here is my question to you, and everyone else - who made these rules? Who decided that we have to look like a Kardashian, or act like a Kate Middleton? That I can’t wear the same dress to 3 weddings in one summer? Someone did. I don’t know them and I don’t have to, I know I don't like them.
You know that woman, who looks like a walking Instagram post? The one you think is judging you for not brushing your hair when you did your top knot? Or for wearing tights and open toe shoes? Or confidently going without makeup? She didn’t write them either! She's just trying to follow what she thinks the rules are. And you know what? I bet she's exhausted trying. And even if she is judging you, you probably won't ever see her again!
I’ve done it, I’ve caught myself giving a fuck for the wrong reasons. I mobile ordered my Starbucks and I’m running in quickly all unkept and someone, in this instance a middle age woman who looks like she has all her shit together, smiles at me. And for whatever reason - I don’t assume the smile means “Giiiirrrrl, been there!” I assume it means, “Good god what is this world coming to.” And I feel shame.
That said - after a moment to ponder, I don’t think that is what she was thinking. I think she either is empathizing with me or is jealous that I can embrace myself authentically.
So, let me ask you this! Why do you care what she thinks of you?
I have surrounded myself with awesome people that embrace me. That allow me to be authentic and make sure that I am maintaining that authenticity. If someone isn't willing to embrace you as you are then they aren't worth investing in - fuck them!
To clarify, I am not about to start walking around topless - because WHO CARES WHAT PEOPLE THINK, and bras are uncomfortable! I still do believe that we should respect social norms. Please continue to wear shoes at restaurants; and be considerate, don’t blast your music next to me on the plane. But when it comes to the real stuff… let's relax.
You should care more about your bestie who is sobbing and just needs a hug in the middle of a quiet auditorium than the people watching. And don’t shame your girlfriend who has the balls to belt out her fav jam when it comes on the radio and the windows are open. Instead let's embrace these moments and build up the relationships that do matter, and don’t give a fuck about the ones that don't.
Are you trying to come up with an excuse?… But Katie they will criticize me, judge me, scoff at me… whatever word you choose. FUCK THAT! Even if they do - let's recap:
They are not important to you.
You will likely never see them again.
They are probably jealous they aren't as openly authentic.
We're going to build into the relationships that matter.
Let's say fuck it, and be authentic. Send me your struggles to katie@kmbphotography.ca
XXX Katie
