Note: Please send your questions to katie@kmbphotography.ca
Katie,
I saw your response to Miss Vaginal Skin Tag and I thought to myself, WHAT THE FUCK JUST ASK HER.
Okay so here it goes: 8 years ago I made my husband a "boudoir book" (not at your level). It was pretty tame to be honest, and I guess it wasn't enough. I've asked him if he's ever "used" it and he said no. I was a little sad but I kind of understood since it was pretty tame . I offered to let him take the pictures this time and he wasn’t interested (like that could be fun and sexy right?!). And that - that really hurt.
It's like he said my body isn't enough. I love boudoir, I love the idea of boudoir. But I can't honestly bring myself to show it to anyone else. Even him.
Are you going to say it’s for me?
Are you going to say It's just about embracing myself?
What's the point if I just do it for me and put them in the closet?
Sincerely,
Miss Ashamed
_____
Miss Ashamed,
First, why are YOU ashamed? I think that is 100% the wrong pseudonym.
Anyways, Girl - that sucks!
I totally understand that would make you feel like you aren't enough. But let's remember, you are not just your body. Your body is your vessel. It is not who you are.
You are your heart, your soul, your personality. Your body just gets you around.
I AM going to tell you to do it for yourself. I think I understand that you want the man you love to want you, but you almost sound like you're objectifying yourself. Like you don't have a reason to do it if it isn't for a man.
Your body isn't made for your husband, if anything your husband is made to want your body. *wink wink*
Close your eyes, and ask your body "what do you need?" Does it say a man? I bet it says "more water," But I digress… Boudoir is about empowerment and gaining confidence! It is a tool to use on your journey towards self acceptance and body love.
And if it turns your husband on, then great.
Boudoir might not be your thing either, but I have yet to end a shoot and have a woman not feel confident. I can see the confidence change in them. VISIBLY! I can tell they have had a boost. I never want to pressure anyone into boudoir that isn't ready, but I think it is a confidence boosting experience for anyone. Even if we don’t publish your photos.
Pause here, take a deep breath. Tell yourself this: "You is Kind. You is Smart. You is Important."
Embrace yourself, work at giving yourself internal confidence and it will ooze out too.
When you're ready, I'd love to help you collect some good photos you feel confident in. Even if you just keep them in your closet.
Xxx - Katie
